I watched Lilly sleep this morning.
Possibly as a New Year’s resolution, she developed this habit of falling asleep on me while feeding. Especially in the morning, after her breakfast. Before my shower.
Now I take all the sleep I can get from the short one. But I got a short attention span. So whilst Lilly has her snooze, I try to do what I can being quietly confined to one spot. A lot of times, checking my emails and having a cruise on Facebook are sad but safe options. Doesn’t require a lot movement, doesn’t make a lot of noise. Can be done with either hand. Sometimes I read other people’s blogs, or peruse an online magazine. Mostly I have thoughts on what I might want to write about, or any other ‘stuff’ currently on my mind. Some days, I manage a cat nap of my own whilst sitting up and holding her.
And ever so often (probably not often enough), I look up from whatever I’m doing and watch her sleep. Notice how peaceful she looks. How soft her skin is. Feel her warm little body all nestled up against mine. All those lovely mummy things that you think are so boring and trivial…. until it’s your own child that you’re watching. I also get to wonder whether the white stuff in her nostrils is snot or dried up porridge, but I resist the urge to investigate. Getting poked up your nose is not conducive to infant sleep. Just throwing that one in, in case you’re tempted to get all mushy.
I also love watching her wake up and go from the deepest yawns and sleepy stretches to a happy giggle in about 20 seconds. I get to stop and appreciate how short and precious this time really is. Pretty soon, cuddles and sleeping on mummy will be uncool and uninteresting. Surpassed by playing and skipping about. So I enjoy it while I can.
Eventually, Madame wakes up and I get to contemplate getting myself dressed. Cleaning up after breakfast. Pondering the things that kinda need to get done. There’s plenty of time for that during the rest of the day. Except when there isn’t, but that’s another story.
And whatever I may or may not be doing, there are of course plenty of times during the day when I am distracted. When my attention isn’t fully on Lilly. And that’s ok. I can’t be focused on her all the time. Imagine the pressure of being on mummy CCTV 24 hours a day…
But I love honouring these special moments. Something to cherish and remember. More memorable than a clean kitchen table or getting out of your bathrobe.
And trust me, getting dressed before lunchtime is really overrated anyway. You gotta give the postman something to talk about.