Do Despite

Ok, I have to admit that despite reaching out for great advice on being a writer, I have really been struggling with where to get started and what to write about.

My usually gutsy self is quite unnerved at the thought of publishing myself for all to read. So I have been falling into the trap of using excuses for not writing. Mostly centered around the fact that I have a 5 month old baby and thus in my limited spare time am either too tired or too busy doing ‘stuff’ (that’s a technical term for hanging up the laundry, surfing online or whatever other non-essential things we do to fill our time and keep us from connecting to what we really might be here for).

I chatted to my mentor the other day and her advise was to ‘do despite’. To sit down and write despite all the perfectly good reasons that I come up with for not doing so. To make time when it feels like I have none… or would rather be sleeping on the couch.

I got that… but I was still stalling like hell. Because underneath of course is something else. Namely that I am actually scared. What of? Who knows… being successful, putting myself out there, being judged? I guess on some level, I feel more vulnerable now that I am a mum. I never thought I would and I can’t really explain it but I do.

So I talked to my very clever husband tonight and his advise was this: Do The Opposite.

Just do the opposite of whatever your head (or ego) is telling you to do. That made sense. Write despite telling yourself that you don’t have anything to write about. Pick up the laptop (and your courage) when hiding under the duvet sounds like the more appealing option.

Do The Opposite. 

Do Despite.

Now, I wonder if 5 months is too early to comprehend that sleep is the opposite of chanting in your bed at the top of your voice?